Why New Year’s Resolutions are for Chumps: How to Enter the New Year with Dignity

Well guys, it’s officially 2014.  We have come to that lovely part of January where it is becoming tacky to greet people with a “Happy New Year” and when you begin to regret your New Year’s resolutions.  It is at this point that the gym begins to lose its shiny allure and you wonder why you would ever contemplate quitting whatever stress relieving habit you have.  If you are not at this point, good for you, but for me I always start to wonder why we make resolutions in the first place.

Don’t get me wrong, I think they have had their place in the past, but it’s starting to feel like it’s now the first part of our annual cycle of self hate.  What was once a time of self reflection has now become a marketing tool fueled by our own insecurities.  Just think about, first you have New Year Resolution season.  You start getting all of these email about products that you have to buy to be the “best you.”  Then after you are bombarded with sports bras and juicers all winter, it’s suddenly swim suit season.  Once again, you are reminded about how you are somehow inadequate.  If it is not your size, it’s the amount of hair on you, and if you just so happen to be fur free, then I am sure you have not updated your hair color for summer.  When you have finally waxed the living hell out of your bits and highlighted your hair to a mere specter of its former glory, it’s suddenly holiday season and time to pull out the cocktail dress.  I can go on, but there is a clear pattern that generally leaves me broke, disheartened and sweaty.  But this year, I plan on breaking the cycle.  I refuse to create a list of self defeating goals, so this year I created these five guidelines for my sanity.  If you feel the same as I do, go ahead and adopt a few of these...

1. Remember why you do what you do

This does not just apply to your professional pursuits.  I think it’s very easy to begin to try to appeal to the whims of our critics.  Whether it is demanding bosses, internet trolls or frenemies, there are always little flies in our ears telling us that we are not good enough.  And even the strongest person will eventually listen to them.  But fuck them.  You do what you do for you.  Accept any useful criticism, but never let it change the principles that guide your passions.  Let your haters be your motivators, boo.

2.  Awesome stuff from the year before should not be forgotten to make room for the new

This is something I am always guilty of.  Sometimes when you get into self improvement mode, we lose some stuff along the way.  Even though some years are tough, there is always something that is worth carrying over to the future.  Moving on does not mean forgetting where you came from or the people and things you care about along the way.

3.  Be aware of the line between self-improvement and self denial

The best way I can describe this is with an example.  I am a snarky person.  It’s just who am.  One summer I remember I had decided that the key to happiness was to only say “good” things.  It did not work out.  In my attempt to spew cotton candy, I ended up chocking on it.  Instead of saying one or two harmless one-liners, I held them in and they festered into something more negative.  So in short, you can go about some “self-improvement,” but do it with a personal twist.  Want to get fit but yoga is too yuppy?  Try something else!  Just make sure you are present in whatever you do.

4.  If you make goals, make sure to create tangible end points

Though lofty goals such as world peace are great to think about, they are not so awesome to live by.  Trying to chase a goal that never ends could mean that you never feel content with all of the greatness you achieve.  Sometimes, it is nice to have bench marks to not only keep progressing but also things to have things to celebrate along the way.  So, instead of beating yourself up for not writing the next great novel in a year, decide to write a chapter a week and see where that takes you.  Who knows, you might end up coming up with something better than you expected.

5.  Don’t forget to have fun!

This might be the easiest to do.  Make sure to make room for fun in your year.  Go to a show.  Explore different types of cheeses.  Write an analysis of all the Spice Girls’ greatest hits. Whatever it is that does it for you, make sure you do it and do it often.  What’s a year of self discovery and growth without the enjoyment?!

But that is it for my list for 2014. So, what will you do this year?

Yours Truly,

Lady Justice