Signs That You Are Struggling Twenty Something

My friends, the struggle is real. In fact, I have a monthly pass on the struggle bus that I ride every day.  The driver knows my name and wishes me happy birthday. But what makes this fact a little more bearable is that I am definitely not the only one on the bus. The economy has definitely screwed over many of my fellow twentysomethings. Sadly we are not collecting the traditional trappings of adulthood such as home ownership and marriage but I say that we are at least having a good time doing it. Regardless, it did take me a while to figure out that I was not living the high life even though I make more than I did in college. Here were some of things that let me know that, indeed, the struggle existed for me.

You Gotta Save Up to Buy the “Good Cheese”

Now that meals plans and parents no longer provide it for me, I look at food in an entirely different way. It’s become more of an obligation but I still love it. Though I have learned to cope and budget better in this regard, it still shocks me how expensive cheese can be. Cheese is life and to make it so expensive seems immoral. The first time I had to forego my premium aged cheddar *GASP* to be able to get some veggies, I almost fainted. Oh the oppression!

A Misstep of Bill Payments Could Ruin You

This one is bit more serious, but I have learned that timing bill payments can be like a delicate dance over a pit of lava if you are not a high paid, young executive. Though I am fortunate enough to have a savings and a decently paying job, sometimes not paying attention to silly things like eye shadow purchases around a major bill paying week can leave my checking looking sad.

Getting a Taxi is Luxury for The “Second Paycheck”

Y’all know what I’m talking about. There are two checks each month that evoke very different emotions. There is the rent check, where you suddenly see your paycheck disappear right before your very eyes. This is a sad, dark day. But then there’s the awesome second check.  Sure, you have to pay car notes and utilities but you also get to upgrade for a couple weeks on fun stuff. No more shitty PBR, my friend! You may even be able to be like all those rich kids who get to take a taxi instead of struggling on public transit after a night out. Luxury!

You Agree to Go to After Work Meetings for the Food

I am very guilty of this one. I admit, you can schedule a meeting until 8PM if you feed me enough. I especially love when you know in advance. At least once a month I have a week where I only have to pay for enough food for two dinners. That extra money can go towards dresses and booze necessities or your savings. Plus, all that networking and actual working you do can help you move towards not being so broke in the future.

When did realize that #thestruggleisreal?

XOXO Lady Justice 

You Are Not That Busy: Hard Truths for a Cold World

Anybody who has tried to set up a time to hang out with a group of friends larger than 3 can attest that it seems like people are pretty busy now a days. It becomes this constant back and forth about overanalyzing times to meet up in between their high priority yoga sessions and witty tweeting. This social phenomenon has inspired a down pour of opinion pieces either talking about how it’s rude or people are missing out on life getting caught chasing perfection. And sadly, it seems that my twentysomethings are the biggest culprits. Yawn!

The problem is that we are not calling out the elephant in the room that we all know is there. The truth is, none of us are that busy and people who claim it the most generally don’t have much going on. Yeah, I said it! If you are in your twenties and are not taking care of kids or the primary bread winner in a house full of dependents, you ain’t  got shit to do so important that better time management could not fix. Yoga classes and other things of that nature are just not responsibilities. You know it, I know it so why are we playing this game?

The answer to that it’s not that we all want to feel busy; it’s that we all want to feel important and like we are not missing out. In my opinion, it seems like there is a lot of pressure to be perfect. You have to have the right apartment, the right job and the right partner. What makes it even more high pressure is that those around have to think so, too. Even if you are pretty satisfied with your life, it seems like you have to have validation through friends or social media for it to count. So, people flood you feed with photographic evidence of their worth and place in the world for you to legitimate. Of course, someone with some many people who love them and who makes so much impact would be busy, right? Not when you spend more time documenting your life than living.

Sadly, happiness and self-worth can never be something determined by how busy and unavailable you make yourself.  I much rather make time to watch stupid things on the internet, staying connected to my friends and going out than always putting up the excuse that I am busy. Ironically, I have noticed that the more satisfied with my life that I am and the less time I legitimately have, the less I am on social media and less attention I get from it. So, even though no one’s knows it, I say my life is fuller now than ever before because I want it to be and acknowledge the beauty that is there. So my advice is to stop making the excuse that you are busy, because you are not. Buy a day planner and move on.

So, have you all notice this? How do you manage your schedule?

XOXO Lady Justice 

Can I Still Shop at Forever 21? Struggling with “Dressing Your Age” and Entering Your Mid-Twenties with Dignity

Once upon a time, I really did not give a shit about what I wore. Sure, I put a lot of thought into it but I never really thought about its appropriateness. After I started attending (insert elite east coast women’s college) I shed a lot of my high school angst and started to be a little more experimental, but in that awkward I-don’t-know-if-I-am-cool-enough-to-shop-here sort of way. But then, I suddenly started really loving my body and dressing it well and shit got real, folks! I am fly as fuck, if I do say so myself. But sadly, as my 24^th birthday approaches, I feel like I am at a crossroad. Do I have to start wearing mom jeans now?

I mean, 24 is hardly old, but I feel the pressure beginning to mount to dress like a “real” adult. Over the past year, at least once a week, my mother has gently reminded me to grow up. One of her favorite ways that I reach maturity is in the way I dress. Sure I could probably stop buying clothes that are disposable (but really, some evenings require a dress you can forget about, like the shame of the night before) but does that mean I should look like Ann Taylor threw up in my closet? Why is there a time limit any way? Also, it would be different if I actually dressed like a child. It’s not like I am showing up to work with my onesie and my latte. I just have a strong love of flannel and leggings. Is it so much to ask that I am comfy most of the time?

It especially sucks that the age people want you to wear pants is a very similar age to when you realize that living for you is such a sweeter existence. What’s the point of all that teenage suffering and puberty if you can’t reap the benefits for at least a few years? IT’S A CONSPIRACY!!!! OK, not really, but I do think it has historical roots. Here’s my theory. Humans are visual creatures and as such display to future mates using adornments. Sadly, we as a culture have equated our clothing choices with perceived sexual willingness .What that meant for our foremothers is that when they were married (in their tender early twenties for many) it meant they were expected to put away the goodies. Why dress like you’re looking when you’re satisfied with your husband and the mailman? So, two things are happening here to make the modern women feel more inclined to loosen up her buttons. One, if you buy into the idiotic idea that people dress for the opposite sex, women are getting married later so they need to bare skin at an older age than before. And two, for those who do not buy into an ideal that supports rape culture and the notion that women dress only to attract men, you remembered you did not give a shit and put on the romper. Sadly, this is creating a cross generational misunderstanding that could be fixed if we only listened to each other.

So, I have decided to continue on my path of fabulous. I still have a few good years of my ass hanging out my romper and I shall let my freedom flag fly as long as damn well please!  I will continue to walk with my sisters in arms in this battle for acceptance and self determination. So if you see a sassy, natural haired women in Chicago, proudly rocking whatever the hell she wants, throw up a fist in solidarity. It is probably me, sticking it to the man, for America.

So, what will you wear in rebellion?

Lady Justice